Nonbootyitis

It’s a fact…

I have no booty.

None.

Zip.

Zilch.

No junk in the trunk.

This baby has got no back.

I have diagnosed myself with Nonbootyitis. (yes, this is a medical term. I think…)

I’ve always known I didn’t have one, but didn’t think anyone else really noticed. Then B-Fry confirmed it. We were watching TV, when one of those commercials for those shape up shoes came on. B-Fry looked at me and said, “Hey do you think those work? Maybe I’ll get you some.” I just laughed and asked him if he thought I needed them. His response, “Well, you really don’t have much of a butt.” I of course laughed again and said “Oh, so you don’t like my flat butt?” and he proceeded to try to dig himself out of a hole that he really wasn’t in. But, it was fun to watch him try. ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ve mentioned before that B-Fry has a nice butt. In fact it’s nicer than mine and quite frankly I see an issue with this. Now, I’m not going to go take up skating to get a booty like that because I am a klutz and would probably just end up hurting my non existent booty. So, that’s a no go.

I’ve been trying to figure out ways on how to cure my Nonbootyitis and have gotten some ideas…..

I work 3rd shift and watch a lot of TV on the job. There is a new commercial I’ve seen for a product called Booty Pop.

I was all ready to shell out my $19.95 until I thought about how disappointed B-Fry would be when my pants came off and saw these underneath:

Fake Booty

So Booty Pop is a no go.

Then I thought maybe I would get the Reebok Tone-ups.

Will these gimme a booty?

But I don’t have $100+ to spend on them. So scratch that….

At this point I have no idea how I’m going to get a booty like J-Lo or even Kim Kardashian (she’s gotta be sportin the Booty Pop). That is until one day I’m scanning workout videos On Demand and I came across this:

Yep, It's gotta be a Booty Pop

Well, as with most workout videos, I watched it first. And declared that I couldn’t watch Kim Kardashian workout in clothes that only hookers NOBODY would ever workout in. Just can’t do it.

So I did a little more searching On Demand and came across several booty specified workouts. I did a short 10 minute one on Thursday and felt it ALL day yesterday and even into today. Today I rocked out Crunch’s Ass and Abs workout, which was sorta tough. I’m sure I’ll be feeling that later.

A crap ton more of these booty workouts and maybe I’ll just have me some junk in the trunk.

A B-Fry girl can dream right?

What about you? Are you the girl Sir Mix A Lot was rapping about?

  • No butt here either. Flat as a board in the back…not the same case in the front ๐Ÿ™‚

    It sticks out a bit more when I’m at goal. And hiking hills helps. Good luck ๐Ÿ™‚

  • No me gusta la “booty”.

  • Tj

    Lol I loved this post! *sigh* I am the girl Sir Mix a-lot was singing about! Lol I did lose a lot of my butt w/my weight loss, but(butt) it’s still poppin! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • hahahahahahah
      really, tj?
      ๐Ÿ™‚
      i am a shame to the stereotypical black woman everywhere.

  • I feel for you darling. And B-fry too. This baby’s definitely got back…

    You can definitely try, no harm in that!

  • *Whitney*

    haha! So funny you said about the Booty Pop because I just saw these in a store last night. I thought it was so crazy, but I honestly thought of Kim Kardashian right away. Sad, but true! LOL

  • Stephanie

    My ass is FANTASTIC, but that’s because I’m a fatty :] haha
    I’ve been using the Reeboks and they are helping a lot! If you don’t want to shell out for the Reeboks, Dr. Scholl’s and Sketchers are a bit cheaper, just as comfortable and get the job done as well!

  • OMG, that booty pop is hilarious!

    I’ve done the booty workouts on exercise TV and agree – they are moving some muscles in there because I am sore afterwards for a couple days!

  • daniwritesnow

    I too have no booty… my twin sis got all of what was ment for me. She doesn’t share well.
    lol I love that you are illustrating different ways to grow one. or tone one… or something. maybe I should try as well, something to ponder.

  • Have a great weekend Brooke! ๐Ÿ˜€