I decided to be nice and bake some cookies for everyone who is camping this weekend. I’ve always loved to bake and now I bake for others instead of just myself. I can’t eat the cookies is they’re not sitting on my counter. 
)
I went simple and made Funfetti cake mix cookies. I have avoided making these cookies for a really long time and there’s a reason why.
Let’s take a trip down memory lane….
It was January of last year and I was dating a guy. We’ll call him BD. Anyways, I met BD online towards the end of 2007, he was from Florida and he moved up to Iowa in July of 2008. We had a pretty decent relationship, well I just mostly had him whipped. Hehe
Then January 2009 happened….
I received a call from my mother saying that she had gotten on the computer to discover it had a virus. Now, they had just bought the computer and it was heavily protected with all the software to prevent viruses. Turns out someone had turned off their protectors.
BD was the last person on the computer. So, my mom automatically started blaming him. When I confronted him about it, he denied it over and over again. I was now torn between believing my mother and the guy I was in love with.
The next day I decided to bake some cookies to take my mind off things. They were Funfetti Cake Mix cookies. There was the usual cookie dough eating and 1-2 fresh out of the oven cookies. But nothing out of control.
That night my mom calls again to inform me that she had discovered a anime porn site on the computer. A rather disgusting porn site, but I’ll spare the details. The porn term was in the Google search engine between a video game BD was playing and BD’s favorite band.
Clearly, all signs pointed to BD. So, I confronted him about it and he again denied it. I was completely devastated. The guy I was in love with, discussed marriage with, and was certain was ‘The One’ was outright lying to me.
I was stupid in love and put off dumping him for a couple of days. I was an emotional wreck and in one of those days I ate to fix my broken heart.
I ate EVERY single one of those Funfetti cookies.
All 24 of them.
I remember feeling horrible about it, but ate them all anyways. I felt like it was the only thing that would make me feel better about my situation with BD. It did for a short time, then I faced the facts.
I shipped BD back to Florida where his lying ass belonged. The days after I break up I started learning things that I never knew. He had a nasty porn addiction and was very disrespectful to my father. Life is much better without BD.
The next week my mom invited to me a Weight Watchers meeting. Something I never would have done while dating BD. I’m forever grateful for that.
I’ve avoided making these cookies due to the emotions attached to them. Also the fact that after eating 2 dozen of them in one day, I really can’t stand them.
I’ve grown as a person though and I can trust myself not to eat all the cookies. I will enjoy 1-2, not 24.
I no longer emotionally eat like I used to. When I’m sad, I journal or talk to Jared and have a good cry. I do still eat out of boredom, but I’m learning to get better about that.
All I know is I’m no longer that 327lbs girl sitting all alone in an apartment eating two dozen cookies. I don’t miss that girl, she was sad and in a relationship that she never should have gotten into.
But as they say, you live and learn.
I’m glad I’m still living and still learning every single day.
Now I have some cookies to frost!
